"On tonight's Top Gear: Jamie Oliver's meals-on-wheels; a German sledgehammer in a velvet bag; and which is the fastest political party?"
That Rolls Royce Phantom is massive when you examine it, but it doesn't really look huge. Jeremy happily shows you that it has monster truck tires compared to the tire off the Suzuki Liana economy car... but roll that thing away again, and the Rolls just looks nice. Externally, the hood ornament is the only truly ostentatious thing, and it's not that bad... and if you're not showing off, it's retractable. And I am not a fan of big luxury cars. At the end of the review they go on about how it's just "too flash." I disagree, I think it has presence without screaming it. I think I would rather have this than a Ferrari... and again, not a fan of cushy luxury cars.
The proof of how quiet that car is isn't that Jeremy describes the noise as a whisper, it's the fact that the biggest mouth in television is hushed, not quite to a whisper himself but he's left his usual half-shouting behind. THAT is a hell of a car.
This "power reserve" indicator provides no useful information though, and in the spirit of the otherwise very simple and elegant (polished wood!) dash, it should be eliminated.
I grew up in Vancouver. I think the in-door umbrella holder is the best invention in motoring since the tubeless tire.
Sorry boys, you misfiled the Rolls Royce Phantom on the Cool Wall. It is not Uncool, it is Cool. Not Sub Zero, but Cool.
The Audi A3 ends up the focus of the regulation Cool Wall debate that ends in a regulation Jeremy placing the card where he wants it too high for Richard to reach. I'm thinking, Richard should just grab one of the equipment cases and use it as a stepstool to take it back down.
A minute later, he does just that. :)
The News:
Amphibious buses... uh, no.
Daihatsu Charade... £5995 is under $10,000. Would be nice if the boys did a proper road test, but that's the OLD Top Gear.
Hammond has a look at the Rover P5, which he suggests as an inexpensive way to drive a luxury car. The Queen drove HERSELF around in one? That is high praise.
I usually skip the celebrity interview, but as I'm fast forwarding through Jamie Oliver's, there's a VW Bus on the track? With a Porsche 3.6L engine in the tail? And he's making salad while the Stig drives a lap? He'd have done a lot better if he belted in. Heck, it could make a good demonstration on why the driver of a car should always be belted in, not just for safety in an accident, but because when he's sliding around the cabin he can't maintain control!
Long comparison of the Audi S4 and BMW M3. The BMW does better in a straight line but the Audi corners better, which I figured would be an advantage on the test course. And I'm right... by a wide margin! And yeah, if there was any moisture on the track, it would have been more significant. I gotta ask, though... the Audi's engine is a third larger with a third more cylinders, and it makes ONE extra horsepower compared to the BMW... and Jeremy calls that engine "a masterpiece?" It must be INCREDIBLY smooth and responsive, because that doesn't sound like a masterpiece to me. Still, between the two, if you want to compare the Audi and BMW as a dinner party with Sade on the radio against an Ibiza beach party, I'll have the smooth jazz.
Fastest political party... yeah, it's a hextuple dose of Star In A Reasonably Priced Car. But that Rolls Royce really was nice tonight!
Saturday, 13 August 2011
S02E01
"On tonight's on Top Gear: Richard Hammond in a V-8 tumble dryer; The classiest way to bankrupt yourself; and we turn up the heat on the dumbest car in the world."
Jeremy starts his review of the Smart Roadster by complimenting... the Volkswagen New Beetle convertible? This may be the only pleasant thing said about a Beetle in the entire run of Top Gear. :)
I have long lamented that the Roadster had such a short production life, what was it, three years? But it turns out it was a lousy car. Watching how long it takes the sequential transmission to shift gears, it really is embarassing. This was presented as a sporty car, but it clearly can't be driven in a sporty way. It can have the grippiest tires on the planet and serve me espresso from the dashboard, but if it doesn't go forward when I ask it to, it's not much of a car, is it?
Interesting that Jeremy compares the (non-gearbox) driving characteristics to old, simple sports cars though, like the MGs and Triumphs. I did the math, and the Roadster has almost exactly the same power-to-weight ratio as an MGB... made 40 years earlier. It's competing with the Mazda MX-5 (Miata) though. The MX-5 again has roughly the same power-to-weight, and there wasn't a huge difference in price between the Smart Roadster and Mazda MX-5, but while Jeremy can say the Roadster handles a bit like simple sports cars of old, in a few more years (2009), he's going to write about the Mazda in London's Sunday Times, "The only reason I’m giving it five stars is because I can’t give it 14."
By the time he prints that, the Smart Roadster has already been out of production for longer than it was IN production.
Audience polling makes the competing Ford Streetka out to be a chick car. I wouldn't touch the convertible, but I'd have one in a hardtop hatchback.
Even in 2003, Richard asks what a guy who wants a 2-seat convertible sports car is to do, and answers, he does what he's done for the 14 previous years... he buys an MX-5.
Despite all that, the Smart Roadster makes it on to the Cool Wall, ranked Sub Zero. Immediately after, they pull the Renault Avantine, previously ranked Sub Zero, from the board, because it's sold so poorly that it's been taken out of production. Holy foreshadowing, Batman.
--------
Richard gives a list of his five most hated cars, and at #4 is the Peel P50, so it gets shown on Top Gear many years before Jeremy reviews it in 2007.
He adds character to his #1 most hated car, the 1982-1985 Nissan Sunny (Sentra), which he despises because while even bad cars have character, the Sunny is too bland for that.
Character, apparently, comes from the tailpipe of a jet propelled drag racer.
--------
I usually skip through Star In A Reasonably Priced Car. But as I was, I noticed that during the interview, football (soccer) thug Vinnie Jones slammed a watermelon, representing a person's head, in the Smart Roadster's door, reenacting a scene in Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels.
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'New' presenter James talks about buying a classic used car for the same money as a plain new car.
"You could even have a Bentley. Mind you, you'd have to be a complete idiot to buy one of those. This one's mine."
--------
In the news segment, Jeremy says he likes the idea of a Peugeot 206 estate car (stationwagon), but nobody else does; you EXPECT he's going to say, "well, you're wrong," but in a move unexpected to anyone who's watched later episodes, he admits he's outvoted.
Apparently at the time, someone was sending out anonymous faxes with 3-plan views of a sports car, and a phone number. Calling the phone number, you would be asked, "what car is that?" And you would answer that it's a Lotus Esprit. And Lotus meant to go on to use that as evidence in their attempt to copyright the shape of a wedge-form sports car, to collect royalties from sales of Lamborghinis, Ferraris, etc. The presenters suggest that if you get such a fax, you should respond that it looks like a piece of cheese, so sales of Lamborghinis, Ferraris and Lotuses will all support Britain's beleagured cheese makers.
--------
Richard tests drive the Bowler Wildcat, a Land Rover rebuilt such that it does 0-60 faster than an Aston Martin DB-7. And I gotta say, that machine is impressive just in the amount of punishment it's taking as a matter of routine. Taking that much punishment while moving that quickly is unthinkable.
"I am a driving GOD!" he exclaims. Yeah, we're gonna hear that again.
It's almost a shame to do a speed run on the test track with this car-truck-thing, because that's simply not what it's for. Fine, the Bobcat is slow on the road course. Let's take it to Rally New Zealand and see if it's slower than the Koenigseggisseggggnignigsegigisegggg.
Jeremy starts his review of the Smart Roadster by complimenting... the Volkswagen New Beetle convertible? This may be the only pleasant thing said about a Beetle in the entire run of Top Gear. :)
I have long lamented that the Roadster had such a short production life, what was it, three years? But it turns out it was a lousy car. Watching how long it takes the sequential transmission to shift gears, it really is embarassing. This was presented as a sporty car, but it clearly can't be driven in a sporty way. It can have the grippiest tires on the planet and serve me espresso from the dashboard, but if it doesn't go forward when I ask it to, it's not much of a car, is it?
Interesting that Jeremy compares the (non-gearbox) driving characteristics to old, simple sports cars though, like the MGs and Triumphs. I did the math, and the Roadster has almost exactly the same power-to-weight ratio as an MGB... made 40 years earlier. It's competing with the Mazda MX-5 (Miata) though. The MX-5 again has roughly the same power-to-weight, and there wasn't a huge difference in price between the Smart Roadster and Mazda MX-5, but while Jeremy can say the Roadster handles a bit like simple sports cars of old, in a few more years (2009), he's going to write about the Mazda in London's Sunday Times, "The only reason I’m giving it five stars is because I can’t give it 14."
By the time he prints that, the Smart Roadster has already been out of production for longer than it was IN production.
Audience polling makes the competing Ford Streetka out to be a chick car. I wouldn't touch the convertible, but I'd have one in a hardtop hatchback.
Even in 2003, Richard asks what a guy who wants a 2-seat convertible sports car is to do, and answers, he does what he's done for the 14 previous years... he buys an MX-5.
Despite all that, the Smart Roadster makes it on to the Cool Wall, ranked Sub Zero. Immediately after, they pull the Renault Avantine, previously ranked Sub Zero, from the board, because it's sold so poorly that it's been taken out of production. Holy foreshadowing, Batman.
--------
Richard gives a list of his five most hated cars, and at #4 is the Peel P50, so it gets shown on Top Gear many years before Jeremy reviews it in 2007.
He adds character to his #1 most hated car, the 1982-1985 Nissan Sunny (Sentra), which he despises because while even bad cars have character, the Sunny is too bland for that.
Character, apparently, comes from the tailpipe of a jet propelled drag racer.
--------
I usually skip through Star In A Reasonably Priced Car. But as I was, I noticed that during the interview, football (soccer) thug Vinnie Jones slammed a watermelon, representing a person's head, in the Smart Roadster's door, reenacting a scene in Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels.
--------
'New' presenter James talks about buying a classic used car for the same money as a plain new car.
"You could even have a Bentley. Mind you, you'd have to be a complete idiot to buy one of those. This one's mine."
--------
In the news segment, Jeremy says he likes the idea of a Peugeot 206 estate car (stationwagon), but nobody else does; you EXPECT he's going to say, "well, you're wrong," but in a move unexpected to anyone who's watched later episodes, he admits he's outvoted.
Apparently at the time, someone was sending out anonymous faxes with 3-plan views of a sports car, and a phone number. Calling the phone number, you would be asked, "what car is that?" And you would answer that it's a Lotus Esprit. And Lotus meant to go on to use that as evidence in their attempt to copyright the shape of a wedge-form sports car, to collect royalties from sales of Lamborghinis, Ferraris, etc. The presenters suggest that if you get such a fax, you should respond that it looks like a piece of cheese, so sales of Lamborghinis, Ferraris and Lotuses will all support Britain's beleagured cheese makers.
--------
Richard tests drive the Bowler Wildcat, a Land Rover rebuilt such that it does 0-60 faster than an Aston Martin DB-7. And I gotta say, that machine is impressive just in the amount of punishment it's taking as a matter of routine. Taking that much punishment while moving that quickly is unthinkable.
"I am a driving GOD!" he exclaims. Yeah, we're gonna hear that again.
It's almost a shame to do a speed run on the test track with this car-truck-thing, because that's simply not what it's for. Fine, the Bobcat is slow on the road course. Let's take it to Rally New Zealand and see if it's slower than the Koenigseggisseggggnignigsegigisegggg.
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