S02E02

"On tonight's Top Gear: Jamie Oliver's meals-on-wheels; a German sledgehammer in a velvet bag; and which is the fastest political party?"

That Rolls Royce Phantom is massive when you examine it, but it doesn't really look huge. Jeremy happily shows you that it has monster truck tires compared to the tire off the Suzuki Liana economy car... but roll that thing away again, and the Rolls just looks nice. Externally, the hood ornament is the only truly ostentatious thing, and it's not that bad... and if you're not showing off, it's retractable. And I am not a fan of big luxury cars. At the end of the review they go on about how it's just "too flash." I disagree, I think it has presence without screaming it. I think I would rather have this than a Ferrari... and again, not a fan of cushy luxury cars.

The proof of how quiet that car is isn't that Jeremy describes the noise as a whisper, it's the fact that the biggest mouth in television is hushed, not quite to a whisper himself but he's left his usual half-shouting behind. THAT is a hell of a car.

This "power reserve" indicator provides no useful information though, and in the spirit of the otherwise very simple and elegant (polished wood!) dash, it should be eliminated.

I grew up in Vancouver. I think the in-door umbrella holder is the best invention in motoring since the tubeless tire.

Sorry boys, you misfiled the Rolls Royce Phantom on the Cool Wall. It is not Uncool, it is Cool. Not Sub Zero, but Cool.

The Audi A3 ends up the focus of the regulation Cool Wall debate that ends in a regulation Jeremy placing the card where he wants it too high for Richard to reach. I'm thinking, Richard should just grab one of the equipment cases and use it as a stepstool to take it back down.

A minute later, he does just that. :)

The News:
Amphibious buses... uh, no.
Daihatsu Charade... £5995 is under $10,000. Would be nice if the boys did a proper road test, but that's the OLD Top Gear.

Hammond has a look at the Rover P5, which he suggests as an inexpensive way to drive a luxury car. The Queen drove HERSELF around in one? That is high praise.

I usually skip the celebrity interview, but as I'm fast forwarding through Jamie Oliver's, there's a VW Bus on the track? With a Porsche 3.6L engine in the tail? And he's making salad while the Stig drives a lap? He'd have done a lot better if he belted in. Heck, it could make a good demonstration on why the driver of a car should always be belted in, not just for safety in an accident, but because when he's sliding around the cabin he can't maintain control!

Long comparison of the Audi S4 and BMW M3. The BMW does better in a straight line but the Audi corners better, which I figured would be an advantage on the test course. And I'm right... by a wide margin! And yeah, if there was any moisture on the track, it would have been more significant. I gotta ask, though... the Audi's engine is a third larger with a third more cylinders, and it makes ONE extra horsepower compared to the BMW... and Jeremy calls that engine "a masterpiece?" It must be INCREDIBLY smooth and responsive, because that doesn't sound like a masterpiece to me. Still, between the two, if you want to compare the Audi and BMW as a dinner party with Sade on the radio against an Ibiza beach party, I'll have the smooth jazz.

Fastest political party... yeah, it's a hextuple dose of Star In A Reasonably Priced Car. But that Rolls Royce really was nice tonight!